How to Talk to Your Children About Racial Bullying
Racist bullying remains a significant issue in UK schools, with government figures showing that in the 2018-19 academic year, there were 4,904 suspensions or permanent exclusions for racist abuse in English schools—a 13% increase from the previous year and the highest number since records began in 2006.
Racially focused bullying is a difficult but important topic for families to address. Open, honest conversations at home can empower children to understand, cope with, and stand up against racism. Here are some practical steps to guide you:
The First Steps
Start by creating a safe, supportive space where your child feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and experiences. Let them know it’s always okay to ask questions or express their feelings, and reassure them that their emotions are valid.
Use age-appropriate language: with younger children, talk about kindness, fairness, and celebrating differences; for older kids, discuss real-life examples and encourage them to ask questions or share what they’ve seen or heard. Listen carefully, acknowledge their feelings, and never dismiss their concerns—this shows you take their experiences seriously and are there to help.
Help your child understand that treating someone differently because of their race is never acceptable. Discuss your family’s values around respect and equality, and model these in your own actions. Reading books or watching films together that celebrate diversity can help children of all ages appreciate different cultures and perspectives. For older children and teens, encourage critical thinking about what they see online and empower them to take positive action—whether that’s supporting a friend, reporting bullying, or learning more about anti-racism.
KidsHealth suggests, “Ask questions — lots of them. Help your child process thoughts and feelings by asking questions like, "What do you think about what you saw on TV?", "What have you heard?" or "What are your friends talking about?" This helps you get a sense of your child's understanding so you can fill in any gaps with facts or emphasise the values that you hold in your family.”
Remember, these conversations shouldn’t be one-off. Keep the dialogue open and ongoing, so your child knows they can always come to you with their worries or questions. By listening, supporting, and learning together, you help your child feel seen, heard, and equipped to navigate the challenges of racially focused bullying.
Resources for Parents
There are lots of useful tools for parents to use when talking to their children about racial bullying. EmbraceRace and Families Rising both supply many different tools for families to use.
Tackling Bullying
Racial equality is important for Big Sister, and we strive to make sure every voice is heard. Be sure to check out our team of Experts who help guide Big Sister on issues like this and more.
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